Camp

camphen @ 2005-06-21T20:15:00

2005-06-22T00:21:27Z

He was a drinkin' man with a guitar problem
His name was Jones but no one seemed to care
He wore his iPod strapped to his belt
He said he just liked it there

And when he drove cops seemed to follow
They'd watch him close and give him the stare
And all his girls they never swallowed
Said they didn't mind his evil glare

Yes indeed Kenny topped all stupid things ever done in this universe by asking our bosses 17 year old daughter and her freind to come over and watch a movie and "see what happens." No shit!

camphen @ 2005-06-07T20:15:00

2005-06-08T00:25:50Z

I was in Wal-Mart the other day (every day actually). I noticed that even though the store had been open for a mere two weeks that several of the New Release DVD's were sold out. Wow I thought, there must be some cool movies that have come out recently. Indeed! Several WWE dvd's, all seasons of the Orange County Chopper show, something about Harley's, Ultimate Fighting, and.......and the Smokey and the Bandit Trilogy Collectors Edition Boxed Set. On a side note, did anyone realize that Georgia, our fair state, was the "Adventure State?" Says so right on the Welcome to Georgia sign as Burt and Sally cross the state line, clearing a path for a truck load of beer and blaring Jerry Reed. Adventure State. Yeah!

Eastman Daily News

2005-06-06T23:33:05Z

The panic continues. Rioting in the streets and looting continued on Monday for the second straight day. The bedlam comes as a result of the Mayor's declaration of Marshall law in the city and his edict that all local businesses are to remain closed until the artist, who depicted Jesus holding hands with Ralph Nader on the towns water tower, has been identified and brought to justice. Town Elders have been in a closed door meeting (behind Wal-mart) for the past 83 hours, trying to determine a positive course of action. At this point no arrests have been made but local authorities (Wal-mart greeters) feel that the problem will be resolved within the week and ask that local citizens remain calm and within the safe confines of thier trailers.

-AP wire-

Well Bob and Willie TORE....IT.....UP on Saturday. Kenny is growing a sweet gotee. Mine is on lay away but fear not, I get paid this week. Momma's lock your daughters up, that wild bunch is back in town.

Boston Butts

2005-05-31T21:14:13Z

The thing about a Boston Butt that separates it from other butts is the flavor and tenderness you get when you smoke it for like 478 hours...slowly. Now I've eaten a few butts in my time and i can tell you that the ones we ate Monday were absolutely delicious. I once read a quote that went something like this, "it is only the fool who can shoot always for the stars yet never hit anything but a damn 22 cartridge with a friggin' golf club." I believe it was Thomas jefferson or one of them bunch, you know, that signed the constitution. Communists don't believe in God?

We all continue to pour 'em out for Joe Sr. as he is gone but clearly in a better place. Save for that misfortune the weekend went well and it was fabulous to see Joe Jr. going strong on Monday at the farm.

Emily and I had much fun in various arenas (athens sushi, wedding, farm, etc.) Having fun on the weekend makes the week seem that much worse, so it seems to me that if we never had any fun we would never feel depressed. Not ready to try it.

Kenny is out for a few days so work should go smoothly.

camphen @ 2005-05-29T10:57:00

2005-05-29T15:15:17Z

Well I've been in Eastman for two weeks working for Uncle Ray. It may be the greatest place ever and the greatest job ever. It is beautiful in Eastman. The sun is always setting and casting an incredible myriad of pastels across the landscape. Leprechauns are everywhere and they do anything you ask. No they're not the little creepy leprechauns like you see in the movies, they are the little cute cuddly ones.
I am staying with this group of swedish swimsuit models that are doing a shoot in Eastman. We are splitting the rent on this 17th century castle that was built as a secret summer get-away by King Henry the 8th of Nashville. I think he may have been Willie Macs uncle. Anyway the place is real cool, it's right on the beach and this beautiful waterfall cascades into my room where it passes through an open flame and into the jacuzzi that overlooks the last run of the day on the local ski slope.

As far as my job goes, it couldn't be any cooler. I pretty much do whatever I want all day, like swim and chat online with chicks (aka Ronnie Brown) and take helicopter rides. Its not what I want to do for the rest of my life but I can handle it, you know, just for the summer. It'll be nice though to get back to Athens and al the familiar sounds (people barking like dogs), sights (RED EVERYTHING), and smells (puke everywhere from the 180 bars in town and piss on the side walk from all the freakin bums).

So, hope everyone elses summer is going well.

camphen @ 2005-05-06T11:17:00

2005-05-06T15:17:53Z

With a bit of luck his life was
ruined -- forever thinking that
just behind some narrow door in all
his favorite bars, men in red
Pendleton shirts are getting
incredible kicks from things he'll
never know.

She Uses Everready

2005-05-01T13:58:08Z

Sunday A.M.

Went to Twilight last night. This is where they rope off the streets in Athens and let people race their bikes around the square like Henry used to do in Moreland. Except like thousands of people show up to cheer and chug beer. I remember Cousin Chris talking about this event (I believe he participated) but never understood what it was all about. Emily came with me which was most likely the reason for the goofy grin I had on my face but I'm pretty sure that fun would have been had regardless because it was a friggin' sweet bike with pegs and shocks.

Ryan toed the line of "drunk asshole friend who ruins guys chance with chick," but it worked out in the end.

The water tastes like Cherry Wine.

Prine as quoted in No Depression regarding having kids:

It just, like, keeps me off the street, that's for sure. I don't know if I would have appreciated it as much in another time of my life. The stuff I thought was interesting and all the stuff i did -- all the partying I did -- I would have hated to miss it being with my kids."

camphen @ 2005-04-30T10:49:00

2005-04-30T15:02:59Z

Piddling in Wal-Mart yesterday and wound up in the CD section. Jones syndrome kicked in and I had to buy something. I saw this Creedence album "Creedence Country" and picked it up. Bunch of Remastered stuff, some of the best (Wrote a Song, Lodi, Ramble Tamble, etc.) and some songs I didn't recognize. A few from Mardis Gras which I not intimately familiar with. The Album was produced by Fogerty so I thought WTF. Well song Authorship is not indicated on the back cover, you have to open the case which is only possible after purchase. I quickly realized, after dropping $14 US, that there was a very good reason that I didn't know those songs. They weren't penned by JCF and therefore SUCK NUTS. Long Live Fogerty!

Went to dinner with Emily last night. Whoa! (and a good Whoa! at that). That is all.

Rumor Mill

2005-04-29T00:04:25Z

A new McMurtry album in the works? Could it be..... the greatest summer EVER.

Listening to james the other day....

Jesse Johnson: What cha listening to ole Camp?

ME: A little James McMurtry. Oh yeah.

JJ: (puzzeled look) Who?

ME: Jesse I've made you listen to him several times.

JJ: Is that some of that hippie shit you listen to that they don't play on the radio?

ME: (frustration)You've heard it.... He's like one of the greatest songwriters of our time.

JJ: Whose that? Jerry Reed? (sings)....South bound and Down...

ME: You mean (singing)... She got the gold mine... I got the shaft.... Jerry Reed?

JJ: Yeah man.

ME: Uh yeah him. GREATEST SONGWRITER OF OUR FRIGGIN' TIMES JERRY REED.

Fair and Goddamn SQUARE

2005-04-28T19:35:44Z

Finally. Went to store and bought the damn thing. Oh well it's mine now.

Interesting thing happened to me today. As I was strolling through the commons walking to my car some girl screamed at me something about pizza. I turned and acknowledged her and she said she was selling slices of pizza for some charity or benefit or something she considered honorable. She forcefully requested that I purchase a piece as it was for a good cause. I told her that I didn't eat pizza.

(following is actual dialog)

You don't eat pizza? Why not.

(well this is when the spirit of James McMurtry possessed me and I believe I actually had his voice for a moment.)

Don't believe in it. Ya see I'm fer the mass slaughter of innocent animals and I advocate drinkin'. The pizza industry just ain't gettin' done far as I'm concerned.

Huh? Well what about sausage and ham or bacon.

Ha. Pig? Innocent? What do you say to increased rates of heart disease over the past decade.

Uh?

What was that cause again?

enough with the song lyrics

2005-04-20T22:54:05Z

I woke up in a strange world
I can aptly describe
It's like the streets of a town where I lived
When I was too young to drive
It all looks so Familiar
But I can't find my way
I must have got lost in the back yard
When I went out to play

Lost in the Backyard
-McMurtry

Love song's

2005-04-20T12:50:50Z

"Isn't that the way they say it goes?
Well Let's forget all that
And give me the number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell her I'm fine
And to show... I've overcome the blow
I've learned to take it well
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn't real
But that's not the way it feel's."
-Jim Croce-

Something about springtime and love songs just gives me this gushy feeling inside. Like I could hold hands and giggle with some chick all day. I think Kip knows what I'm talking about.

Keb' Mo' can bust it. I like that shit good. Gunna go to class so I can make good grades and get a good job and find a good wife and have some good kids and be good forever.

Grumbeley Beans

2005-04-19T20:10:59Z

Prine X2 last weekend. WOW. Every time I see him I sit there and think "that's really him up there, and I'm really sitting here.... enjoy, enjoy, enjoy." Would have liked to dance in the aisle but good seats wouldn't permit.
Googley eye followed us from Atl to B'ham but we couldn't make anything happen. A hot chick who loves Prine... THAT is what I need. Although something was making her eyes all googley. Probably Spence.
Still no Rocky Mountain time. It would complete me.

Need........to.......study....but.......can't......concentrate......girls................everywhere!

camphen @ 2005-04-05T17:11:00

2005-04-05T21:18:38Z

God smacked one right over the fence when he created mini skirts and gave us spring time.

I think I want to stay in college for ever.

Luke and I drove around for a while yesterday and he was drooling all over the place. He kept going, "Matt... twelve o'clock." And needless to say when I got home I "got a cramp in my hand."

One way out babe
Lord I just can't go out the door.

camphen @ 2005-03-29T09:01:00

2005-03-29T14:02:14Z

John Prine from recent interview:

"Cancer is not for everybody, but it worked wonders for me."

Captian's log 2005

2005-03-29T13:37:45Z

As I strolled briskly through the concourse on my way to work I felt the cool air and warn sun rays on my face begging me to ask why Lord, when you can create such beauty, must you also make bulldawgs?

Deisel has temporarily taken up residence in this fowl city as he prepares his self for a career as a professional crime fighter. While he hones his superhero skills, waxes his mustache, and practices to clean up the streets of skum, filth, and... mexicans, he will most definitely need food. I intend to provide said food, at least once. So I can say I've done my part and given back to this society which has afforded me so many girlfriends (one point two-five)over the years.

Gobble Gobble

2005-03-25T15:20:33Z

Easter Weekend and opening day of turkey season coincide this year. MMMMMMM. Well I watched "The Passion" thrice this week so I think I'm covered on the God part (although Mosha said Jesus was coming to get me because I wouldn't let him in the computer lab), what's left but the turkey's.

I know I haven't said too much about SB2K5 in PC. I think I'll let the air brushed T-shirts I had made up speak for themselves.

time for lab.

camphen @ 2005-03-24T09:28:00

2005-03-24T14:52:29Z

From Live Lunch interview:

Scott Mullins: Your guitar playing really intrigues me. I love the sound you get - it has a very hypnotic and droning quality that I like and at times it sort of reminds me of some of the North Mississippi people like Mississippi Fred McDowd (sp?), Rainy Burnett (sp?), and just guys like that.

James Mcmurtry: Never heard of em.

SM: Who are some of the guitar players you like?

JM: Mmm Sonny Landrith and I can't play like any of the guitar players I like, I can only play like me unfortunately.

SM: Well it sounds awful good.

Spring Break '05 Bitch

2005-03-09T00:39:47Z

It's almost here. I'd forgotten how exciting the lead up to spring break can be. The anticipation. Final arrangements. Tying up loose ends. And then the week long party that leads up to spring break as people enter what the Dawgs call break mode. It involves a vigorous regime of drinking and dancing late into the night followed by deep sleep until say 12:30 when you jump out of bed and head to the gym for 13 minutes of intense curls and bench. This is all very necessary to get your body into Spring Break Shape.
The itinerary:
1)Swing by fred's to pick up the O-Z of fine white.
2)Go to liquor store in ATL to get cheap handles.
3)AU for the dank weed and zanny bars.
4)Back to GT for the X your buddies friend scored last minute.
5)Some pasture outside LaGrange where you meet farmer Bob who knows your coming but mixes you up with the guy that needs 3oz of ice and after an intense few minutes while bob talks to his brother on the cell while stroking his double barrel everything gets straightened out and for a nominal fee you are given permission to search any field in the county for shrooms.
6)On the road! Panama City Here We Come!
7)Check in to $75 a night motel where the fat man in the wife beater gives you a dirty look as he wipes fried chicken grease on his shirt.
8)Secretly sneak 18 guys into a single room because you'll probably hook up with chicks every night and really only need a place to shower and keep your shit.

To the beach.
I'll try to update you jobbers throughout the week.

camphen @ 2005-03-08T14:32:00

2005-03-08T19:48:33Z

Here's what you get when you cross entrepreneurship with............... Rabbits!

http://www.savetoby.com/

Yes James! Yes!

2005-03-07T15:50:55Z

He did it again. Wow. Jones.... You are a pussy.

Saw Riggs "I'm too old for this shit" Manown on Saturday. "Little kids are cute... that's a cute little kid." (Dignan)

Magaro's going to AU for A-day. I think I'll hit it up too.

"Sippin' crown and smokin' weed. Huntin' hogs and cookin' speed." JM 02

One big ass pistol, made by badass hebrews

2005-03-04T19:06:44Z

I've now spent three nights and approximately 15 hours this week getting dumped.

SERENITY NOW!!!!!!

Ah..... much better. There's gunna be a softball scrimmage on Sunday that Haun is putting together. I just can't get enough softball.

Casian (aka curios george) was right. Mr. Harris (my boss)is the greatest man to ever live. The way he commands a room is inspiring. Today after a meeting with Georgia's new State Forester, people began to disperse and conversate. I asked Mr. Harris if he had graded our projects. He looked directly at me and amidst the confusion of the room totally ignored me while uttering.... Attention! Silence fell upon the room and he addressed us all by asking Miss Sara a question then departing. Yes indeed a great man.

ATTENTION!

We must see McMurtry.

Copenhagen... you my only friend.

camphen @ 2005-03-03T17:54:00

2005-03-03T23:07:51Z

After hours of grueling, strife filled labor, and the enlistment of one Charles A. Kilmaster's technical skills, I now have internet right in my very own room. This is the first time I've been "connected" since enrolling myself in this school I refer to only as Warnell. (I also refuse to take classes outside Warnell for fear of being labeled a dawg, and of course my newly updated resume makes no reference to the institution that houses my school.) With regards to total access to the world wide web, I am feeling overwhelmed at the idea of an infinity of porn at my fingertips and in the privacy of home. My heads a reelin' and I can't see straight.

McMurtry's sold out but my hopes are high. I WILL see him and once again ask when the Buzzin' Cousins will reunite, if only to hear him grunt in disgust.

"With a great big ol' hard on like a old bois d' arc fence post" I bid ye farewell as I search for the end of the net (McMurtry 2002).

camphen @ 2005-02-28T10:59:00

2005-02-28T16:07:48Z

For the second time in a month I've been dumped via Text Message. Is this the wave of the future. You don't like someone so you just text 'em that it is over and erase their number from your phone. Now I like texting as much as anyone, but it seems to me that there are times when this method of communication is more appropriate than others. Like when you are trying to cheat on a test or at trivia night. But breaking off a serious relationship.... I mean come on.... doesn't that require just a little more personal touch (unless of course you're in class at the time, then it is totally understandable).

Well needless to say I'm feeling pretty rotten this Monday morning. Down in the dumps. I think the only thing that could possibly cheer me up is if my friends took me out to a strip club and bought me buttery nipple shots and lap dances all night.

McMurtry SAT.

chick's

2005-02-25T15:56:49Z

Why the F are chick's so god damn crazy! So HST dies, a fraternity bro gets killed, on top of a bunch of tests and projects and you're a fucking bastard for being distant and not wanting to hang out or "go down town" when you've got an eight o'clock class and are comfortable as shit on the couch.

Could go on but Kilmaster wants his computer back.

We're going through ###### town Honey lock the doors...Course that's not what we're supposed to call 'em anymore.
-McMurtry